My life is good - there I said it….but, it could be better and that's the current quest I'm on in my life right now.
Sure, I just got back from a week in France and have the ability to choose what to do with my week because it is mine…no job, no kids, no man – just me. Today, for example, I worked out in the morning, tinkered on the computer for a couple of hours, then went to Central Park where I wrote in my journal, read a newspaper, began reading "Paradise Lost" by Milton (I know but I will get through it – after all I've got the summer), texted a couple of people, watched a turtle try to seek salvation (more on that later) and went over my french lesson. It was the perfect summer day.
Ahh, the french lessons. I've made a serious decision and that is, that in the beginning of 2010 – I AM MOVING TO FRANCE!!! I have had a long and loving relationship with NYC but it's time we part. I don't think we're doing it for each other anymore. It's been sixteen years that I've been living in the city (though I've been in New York since I was born) and there are so many memories attached to each city street, park, bar, club that I've decided it's time to find a new place and make new memories. To find a place where there aren't so many missed opportunities. And above all a place where I can have hope again.
The turtle that I saw today is a perfect example of me trying to leave NYC (this isn't the first time I've tried to go)
. The poor thing (let's call her Evie) crawls out of the big lake, gets around this incredible long fence to make it on to free land. Evie isn't happy with where she is – she has grander sights for herself. I imagine that she got tired of seeing the same lake with the same old turtles, surrounded by the same old grass and envisioned a whole new experience beyond where she may have been all her life. So she kept on going; Evie became an instant celebrity with the people walking by but they didn't scare her. She was not going to hide in her shell because of these people – she was on a mission. She made it as far as the walkway before a park employee saw her, picked her up and brought her back to the other side of the fence.
An hour later, I saw Evie again. She once again had gotten around the fence and with more determination, started her movement away from the fenced in lake. Once again people stopped and took pictures but Evie kept moving. She changed her flight plan and tried to stay on grass as long as she could. For a species of mammal that it suppose to be slow – Evie was traveling at record speed. She made it up a mini incline which is where I lost sight of her. I figured she must have gotten father away and was surely going to get to experience a new life and meet new Central Park animals. Evie had gotten away.
But as I was packing up to leave the park I saw it. This rather tall man in a Nets jersey carrying Evie back. He stopped and looked at the lake and tried to decide where to put her down. He decided where she had initally came out of (not that he knew that) wasn't a good spot. He took her further into the park. He took her to a part of the lake, where there were lots of other turtles and it occurred to me that I was right. Evie wanted to meet new people and have new experiences and in the end, life kept bringing her right back to what she was trying to leave. Evie and I are quite a lot a like. I have a feeling that she was back on the run the minute that guy set her down….and so am I.