I have a disease. I've had it for a long time. I'm not the only person afflicted by it and no matter what I try to get rid of, to make myself better, it doesn't work. I thought I had gotten rid of it when I moved to London but it seems to have taken hold of me here. People, when I enter a room, are looking at me with scorn or contempt. They don't understand that I am not in control of my ailment – it is out of my power.
When I first moved here, I was on time. Actually, I was early. But now that it's been a month, my body has gotten comfortable. Leaving my flat has gotten harder. The universe is no longer working in my favor.
Having just arrived, when I left the house, the bus I needed would just be turning the bend. I'd get on and be at the tube station in 10 minutes. And once I danced my way through the crowds and onto the uncrowded tube platform – POOF! – my train would be pulling in and off I was…half an hour later at school. Lovely!
This week…very different story. I step out of my flat and I've just missed the bus. No worry you'd think, another will be here in 5. Nope, think more like 15. And it's crowded. And will stop running four stops shy of the train station which means, I'm back on the curb waiting for another. Finally at the train station, I am fighting my way to the platform which is now packed and I don't make it on to the first train that pulls in – not that that one was the line I needed anyway – I get on the second one which I have to take one stop because they're doing track work. IN THE MIDDLE OF THE WORK WEEK. (A point given to NYC since track work and none functioning stations don't happen during rush hour.) Now, having gone the one stopped, gotten off and changed trains, I'm not sitting and waiting for movement.
Do you know what all that gets me? 15 minutes late for class.
I tell you I am not to blame for this. It's the disease that does this to me because I wasn't late just the first day but two days. Sure, I knew things weren't working well with the tube but still some how I was late again. This is an affliction that affects every minority that I know, it is out of my control.
It could be worse, right?!? (I'm not going to name any names of people I know, far worse at handling this problem than I. They know who they are.)
Dr. Phil once said that people who are constantly late have a 'don't care about others' mindset. Bullshit. I've tried to explain this to people not part of a minority group and they don't get. Ten minutes in my mind isn't late it's simply on time and you're the fool who decides to be prompt in starting something on the nose.
My professor doesn't agree with me on this point. Neither did my other teachers, most of my employers and a boyfriend or two but it is what it is. I will be left to fight this condition…err, well not really fight, more like have it not affect me as often. How do I make them understand this is simply out of my control?
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