"THERE IS NOTHING THAT IS A MORE CERTAIN SIGN OF INSANITY THAN TO DO THE SAME THING OVER AND OVER AND EXPECT THE RESULTS TO BE DIFFERENT."
I read those lines recently and was struck by how so incredibly true those words are. And I have to admit, I've been one of those insane people.
Living in New York, I kept doing one thing over and over and over again, wishing, hoping, praying that it would change. It invariably never did. That action was a boy. And had I known the truism of that quote above fifteen years ago maybe I wouldn't have kept going back. Nah…I probably would have because he hasn't been the only guy I've gone back to (really, it was a revolving door of ex's). It's a pattern with me. I tend to think time will fix whatever is wrong. I tend to think people change (not that I ever openly admit it, but I do).
When I decided to move, I did it for a large range of reasons. One main one, was to meet a different kind of guy. Because, and here's a secret about the ladies I lunch with in the states, we believe that men state side are vastly different then European men. It's what the dreams of single woman in the New York are made of. Actually, it isn't just European men…it's almost any man that wasn't born and breed in a major city in the great US of A.
So before leaving New York, my girlfriends placed (non-monetary) bets on how long it would take me to meet a guy that I felt strongly about. How long before I would attach the term boyfriend to someone (after all I am a New Yorker at heart). In the name of optimism, many of them thought a matter of weeks, maybe a month but at most, no more than three. Everyone except, my best friend from high school, Cosca. Cosca yelled out six months which to my still single friends, the married Cosca was putting a dark cloud over what they all thought was the bright and shining future. Cosca was thinking realistically; she accounted for time getting settled into London and the fact that good men – whether in NYC or abroad – don't just fall out of the sky. And, by golly, she was right!
I've been in London for a little over six months (not counting the near month away on vacation) and I am officially (yes, by New York standards) in a relationship.
This didn't happen overnight. I met him in May and have been seeing a series of guys for a bit but now that's done. So you're wondering 'Is this a whole different breed of man than you've dated before?' which is why I went through the whole thing about the quote and ex's…no. Initially I thought I was finally dating a completely different mold of man but I'm not. I've managed to find a man with the 'best bits'. He has the drive to succeed and the entrepreneurial spirit I like in the guys I date but he also has the capacity to share his feels, openly share his life with me and spend genuine time together ie: yoga, seeing a play, meeting up with each of our friends, meeting my folks over Skype (potentially).
The best part of all is that this is a new relationship. The thrill of not knowing what is going to happen next because you've dated this person before and already know. The not waiting for the relationship to expire. There's simply so much to look forward to (and scared as shit of but I'm aiming for positivity here). Which is what the whole point of this new chapter in my life is about…POSSIBILITY!
I will do my best to keep in mind that this is currently the honeymoon stage of dating and that it could change at any minute. I promise to not be one of those annoying woman who goes on and on about the new guy she's seeing. I will not go on at length about the insanely sweet/romantic/sensitive thing that he just did. Like this:
I will do my best…though no guarantees.