The other day I was sent a link to an article posted on the Huffington Post titled Why you\’re not married. The article was funny in its summation of the six sorts of women out there that want to be married and what’s keeping them from it. Why listen to her – she’s done it (albeit unsuccessfully) THREE times. So, you know, she’s an expect!
I could match up everyone of my single friends to one of those descriptions (some fell into two or more actually) and had to pass it on to them. Most of them also found it funny and could see how what she said reflected how they see/think/chase men.
Then other articles began to come out. The normal ‘oh, I read this one three weeks ago check it out emails began. The one that struck me as odd was one titled Woe…single girl. This article was simply – eh! Missing the wit and humor similar to the one posted on the Huff, it simply seemed to be, well, uninteresting. I asked Smith what she had thought about it and she remarked that it was “an article telling women to enjoy being single.”
Which has got me thinking…do single women need to be told to enjoy it? Before the boyfriend, I was a woman who thought long and hard about my desire to be in a relationship and on the marriage track. It was all me and (some of) my friends would talk about. When would one of us be those married people? WHEN!?! We pined. We complained. We plotted. We hoped and prayed. We cried and exhaled. We saw psychics. We lit candles in churches. We wrote what we wanted in a suitor on small pieces of paper and sent them floating out into the world hoping the universe would respond.
Too much?!? Hmm…But was I not enjoying my singleness?
Flipping through my pictures on FB and in iPhoto, I’ve got one answer. HELL YES! I partied, traveled, shopped, slept in. My freezer use to have no less than SIX different kinds of ice cream. I enjoyed being single to the extent that you can. Really, I enjoyed it to the extent my wallet would allow: brunches on Saturdays and Sundays – did it! After work drinks that roll into evening dance nights – been there! Sleeping until two on a Saturday – glorious! There was a year I vacationed in Europe three times. Seriously! With a good group of friends and a little cash in my wallet, I had a blast.
But all good things get old. I had had that life style since college and there comes a point (in some peoples lives, just some) when they want something different. And that’s when I think single women get that glint in their eyes and a strong desire to get married or at least be in a committed relationship. Speaking for myself – I was one of them. And the posts that I wanted to read were the How to get thee a man posts. What I needed to see was point 1 from the Huff piece because well, that fully applied to me and was always good to read (even if it took a long time to sink in). And as I sent off that small note to the universe, I was most likely doing it with my girlfriends, holding a glass of wine, dancing to Prince and laughing my ass off.
Which is why, some woman writing a blog post saying ‘girl, enjoy your freedom because marriage is hard work and you don’t get to just think about you anymore. Being single is fun‘. Is simply mundane. The subtext in that is simply that she wishes she’d enjoyed herself more. Shame for her.